Reflections on Love
As February winds down, I find myself reflecting on love. The Greeks recognized 8 types of love. We celebrate many of them with valentines. Ludus is that feeling of butterflies in your stomach. Eros is the feeling of romantic and erotic love, the excitement at the beginning of a new relationship and the passion it turns into. I adore hearing how partners came together, the look in their faces as they explain how they met and fell in love. Then there’s Phileo and Philia, the love for our friends, co-workers, neighbors, the amazing people we spend Galentine’s/Palentine’s with. We spend an entire month sending our love to so many people!
However, there’s another type of love that we often overlook, Philautia, the love we give to ourselves. Self-love is a lifelong journey. At the beginning of the month I had an intimate conversation about all things body-positivity and self-love as part of the “I can” speaking series hosted by Flirt Fitness. I talked about how we live in a world that has unrealistic expectations. We are expected to be everything, do everything, and look a certain way. We hold ourselves to these standards and compare ourselves to others’ cultivated social media lives. Every single person is exquisite in their own way. Honestly, it’s time we take that power back and honor how amazing we are. We need to find that place where we can love ourselves.
It isn’t only our bodies that need love and acceptance. Mod Bettie recently hosted Women Who’s February event, Women Who Love. Five amazing folx took the stage to celebrate the diversity of love and acceptance. They shared their journeys in the hopes of encouraging others to live their lives authentically. After standing up and sharing some of my own truths, Leslie Boker from the Gr Pride Center said, “I see you, you are valid.” These are words we all need to hear, no matter our gender identity, our sexual orientation, our ethnicity, our age, our body type, our abilities, or the many other facets that make up the glorious, beautiful humans we are.
We worry how others will see us and sometimes that manifests into us being something or someone we are not, trying to fit ourselves in the societally acceptable box. We hide or hate the things that make us different. For the longest time we were told: “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else.” Lizzo has another take on it: “ If you can love me, you can love yourself.” So, as we express all the other types of love, we can start the journey to loving ourselves.
Written by: Nicholette Driggs, Bettie Extraordinaire
Nicholette is a Family Life Educator with a background in early childhood and family studies from WMU, Nicholette’s driven by empowering women and body positivity. Her personal journey began with Mod B in 2015 when she answered a model call and was thrust directly into the path of becoming a pin-up model. She has been published internationally, placed in numerous pin-up contests and currently models for various clothing companies and fashion shows. Nicholette is also a performer, slingin’ glitter and singing pretty! She has also an educator and public speaker.
Her love for modern pin-up and vintage style is for its ability to embrace women of all ages, sizes, abilities, ethnicities and styles. Nicholette wants to help encourage all women to love and embrace themselves, exactly as they are.
Email her at events@modbettie.com
About the presenters:
💟 Anastasia Rysztak
Senior IT Consultant , World Wide Technology
I am Anastasia, you can call me Stacia. I am a movie maven and love to be adventurous with food. Call me a foodie and it’s a date.
I’m a divorced mom of 5 wonderful and unique children. I’ve been in the IT field for over 20 years, spending most of that time as consultant to many Fortune 500 businesses. I love writing, slam poetry, and helping people. I’m a transgender woman that began Hormone Restoration Therapy in April 2019. I came out fully in September or 2019. My pronouns are she/her.
My journey as a woman is different than most. I spent decades acting as a cis male. As I’ve gone through my transition, I’ve found my passion for lifting up my community. I love helping others understand what being transgender means and being an advocate for my community. I’m passionate about our history and our human rights. I want to use my privilege to protect and empower younger and less fortunate transgender people and raise their voices up.
Connect with Anastasia online at:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/anastasia-rysztak-a0a98918/
https://www.facebook.com/anastasia.eligia
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💟 Aubs Thompson, LLMSW
Aubs was born and raised in Grand Rapids, MI. She got her Bachelors of Social Work from Calvin University and her Masters of Social Work from Western Michigan University. While she has had the opportunity to work with a range of populations, her passion is working with individuals experiencing interpersonal violence as well as working with and supporting LGBTQ individuals. In her free time she loves to go camping, hiking, playing games and watching Netflix with her partner and their 3 cats.
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💟 Bux Dhyne
MFA Candidate at Kendall College of Art and Design, Performer, Painting Instructor and Public Speaker.
Bux Dhyne has a BFA in Illustration from KCAD, is a mom of three and has 7 years experience in the comic book industry. They are a costume designer, a performer and a local queer advocate. They identify as non-binary and use they/them or she/her pronouns and is currently pursuing a M.F.A in Painting at KCAD. Bux has a passion for teaching and helping people of all ages and identities to connect with their artistic side. They speak at community panels and as a professional artist to help the community to have a greater understanding of LGBTQAI+ issues and acceptance amongst the wide breadth of identities and lifestyles that exist in our amazing colorful and unique world.
Connect with Bux online at:
BlackLaceCupcakes.com
PaintwithBux.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blacklacecupcakes/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StarBuxom/
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💟 Elektra
Elektra, known as the Wicked Witch of the Midwest, has been a national performer for over a decade, and her power is just getting stronger. Known for her sharp fashion sense, and sharper tongue, no one is safe from verbal whiplash. Her quick witted humor makes for a powerhouse emcee, which can be seen all over the West Michigan area, and beyond. When she’s not hosting Michigan’s traveling drag brunches she has been seen on stages, in magazines, on runways, and even in a movie or two. Witch betta WERK!
Connect with Elektra online at:
Instagram: @Dia.Elektra
www.midragbrunch.com
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💟 Leslie Boker
Grand Rapids Pride Center, Cherry Health AmeriCorps Proud to be Healthy Coordinator
Leslie Boker is a trans and non-binary educator and advocate from Grand Rapids, Michigan. They serve with Cherry Health AmeriCorps as the Proud To Be Healthy Coordinator for the Grand Rapids Pride Center, and as a member of GRPC's Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Advisory Committee. (They/Them Pronouns)
Connect with Leslie online at:
www.grpride.org
Interested in hosting your event at Mod Bettie? Contact Christine at Christine@modbettie.com for more information.
Vulnerability encouraged.
You've seen posts, read the comments and heard statements like, "Selfies are so vain," "Why does she take so many pictures of herself?" "Who does she think she is?"
*THIS IS WHERE WE WAVE A GIANT RED FLAG IN THE AIR AND SAY, UH-UH, SISTER. NOT HAPPENING ON MY WATCH.*
In a society that puts a camera in every hand but is quick to shame the selfie, our mission is to empower women by creating a safe and supportive environment for female self-expression. So help me vodka.
Join our fempowerment community and let's lift each other up. <3